guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
another moral hangover. fuck.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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