a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
