Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
