Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
