well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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