New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?