His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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