did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.