wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in