Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
