Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
