I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
