What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
