wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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