Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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