Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
