she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's Friday. Sex?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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