Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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