last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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