spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
