I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize