Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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