He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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