As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
