Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
