Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
