someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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