just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
