Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My liver just broke up with me...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
