i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
