I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Acid is not a monday night drug
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize