yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
