my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
