Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
