It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
