First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
