Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
