i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
