I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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