And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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