I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
