I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
