You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
