you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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