I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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