how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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