So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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