So drunk its hurt
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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