Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
