Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i love accidental penises.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
