You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
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the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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