We got so high we made milksteak
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
