she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
