M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
