i just had sex bonerless
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
