holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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