I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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