Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
