Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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