This girl is more easily done than said...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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